rebirth.

scumbag brain, go to sleep!!!!!

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.  It is the Lord Christ you are serving.  Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for his wrong, and there is no favoritism."

- Paul, to the Christians at Colosse

"If you want to build a ship, don't drum up the men to gather wood, divide the work, and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea."

-- Antoine de Saint Exupery

via greg jao's fb

/brought tears to my eyes

//not just because i'm a crybaby but also because i've been saying this FOREVER

the greatest love that anyone could ever know

that overcame the cross and grave to find my soul

and 'til i see you face to face

and grace amazing takes me home

i'll trust in You

Above all else, guard your heart, 
   for everything you do flows from it. 

- prov 4:23

and then

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

- phil 4:4-7

she prayed for me that God would enter into the parts of my heart that had endured trauma and heal it.  i think i don't often realize or like to admit how much of my heart actually has wounds - and not the sort that one recovers fully from through time but deep, long-lasting ones that persisted for years that exist because of things that broke after years.  i am coming to understand that i am apparently extremely sensitive but naturally hopeful, leading to a lifestyle where my heart is bared always, trust is forever given, love is freely expressed and. cuts will always hit the soul.  repeat.  i wish the Lord would toughen me up.  greg jao said this weekend that nothing is wasted in God's economy - meaning, all experiences will be used in someone to develop them into who God wants them to be.  i had read recently how Christ's motivation as He reached out to His people was compassion.  i like to think that God has an evangelistic purpose for what i referred to as my putty-like heart, that somehow, some day i will be better and more effective for His glory because of all this emotion.  but i could be wrong.

my sister said my xanga makes me sound quite suicidal.  that is a frightening thought.  i have never in my life considered seriously taking my own life but i suppose i dwell often in this deep, lower level that most people would not enjoy frequenting (and rather, be disturbed and have concern when they see others there).  only one soul i know lives there regularly; i hope he's doing ok.

the Lord is good and i do believe that.  i just don't understand many things.

SINGLE CAREER FEMALE CHRISTIAN LOOKING FOR A NEW SMALL GROUP/FELLOWSHIP

DESIRES MATURITY, GODLY LEADERSHIP, BIBLICAL TEACHING

/why i hated most English classes in school