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  • A Called Man

    ...

    Jeremiah's call brought him nothing but heartache, and yet he could not give it up. Why? Because God's Word was like a fire in his bones. Translation: because God had called him.

    Jeremiah is a picture of what it is like to be called into pastoral ministry. Ministry is more than hard. Ministry is impossible. And unless we have a fire inside our bones compelling us, we simply will not survive.

    Pastoral ministry is a calling, not a career. It is not a job you pursue just because you like attention, or because your mom thinks you'd be good at it, or because it does not involve heavy lifting. I am continually shocked at how many men are trying to do ministry without a clear sense of calling. Please hear this: If you don't feel a sense of calling to ministry, then please, find another vocation! Only those like Jeremiah who have a strong, fiery calling from God should pursue pastoral ministry.

     

    Discerning the Call

    Your call to ministry does not have to be like my call, or anybody else's call for that matter. In fact, one of the most interesting features of calling is that whether you look in the pages of the Bible or in the annals of church history, God rarely calls two people in the exact same way. It is very important not to standardize the calling experience. Sometimes it is a dramatic Damascus Road experience. Other times it is more of an inward pull. But however your sense of calling has developed, it is imperative to recognize that you must have a clear sense of calling before you enter ministry. Let's examine the nature of the call to ministry a little more intently.

    An aspiring pastor/church planter who is seeking to test his sense of calling should look for confirmation in at least three areas: heart confirmation, head confirmation, and skill confirmation.

     

    Heart Confirmation

    There is nothing like going to a rock concert and getting hammered. By the music, I mean. If the sound is right at a show, you can feel the bass on your chest, seemingly disrupting your heart rhythm. There is a pressure, a force that you cannot escape until you leave the venue. This pressure is similar to the heart confirmation of a call to ministry. You feel it in you. You feel it on you. It is a pressure on your heart and soul. An inescapable pressure. An unavoidable pressure. A pressure that evokes deep longing to be a pastor.

    First Timothy 3:1 refers to the one who "desires the office" of eldership. In fact, this desire could be considered the first qualification of an elder. The man who is truly called to ministry desires it. He does not enter the ministry grudgingly, dolefully, reluctantly, dragging his feet. He enters ministry because he wants to and feels joy in pursuing this desire. This doesn't mean there isn't appropriate caution because of the high calling of the office, but it means that there is an excitement, a joy, and a sense of privilege to be able to serve God in this way.

    A true call often comes with an insatiable desire to, at all costs, serve God and his people. There is a strong sense in the heart that it is ministry or nothing else. Consider the call of Nehemiah. The book bearing his name begins by describing a heart-call to serve God by leading the people of God. In chapter 1, Nehemiah inquires about the state of those who survived the exile and the physical condition of the great city Jerusalem. The report he receives is not encouraging. "The remnant there in the province who had survived the exile is in great trouble and shame. The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates are destroyed by fire" (Nehemiah 1:3). This news cut right through to Nehemiah's heart. We know this because of the following verse:

    As soon as I heard these words I sat down and wept and mourned for days, and I continued fasting and praying before the God of heaven. (Nehemiah 1:4)

    This is the essence of Nehemiah's call, literally the heart behind his call to ministry. Nehemiah didn't take the news home and think about it for a few days. Nehemiah didn't immediately start problem-solving and strategizing, though later he certainly would do these things and do them very well. No, when Nehemiah heard the news, it broke his heart. The text emphasizes the urgency, angst, and heartache of Nehemiah, saying he responded immediately with deep sorrow and that he actually mourned for days. Mourning is what we do when someone dies, and it is one of the most profound, painful human experiences. And here we see that Nehemiah is mourning because God's people and God's city are in ruins. His heart is cut by the news, and Nehemiah had no choice but to alter the course of his life in order to serve God and his people with the very best gifts. This is the heart-call.

    In a heart-call, a deep inclination in the soul says, I must do this or I will die. The called man cannot imagine going into another vocation: he daydreams about ministry, he talks about ministry and he cannot wait to be in ministry. There is an abiding, relentless desire for the work of ministry that the called man cannot shake off or ignore- even amidst hardship, persecution, and fear.

    This strong desire in the heart can sometimes result in anxiety and apprehension. Questions are forced to the surface, like Can I really do this? Can God really use me? What if I fail? Nothing provokes insecurity like signing up to follow God's call and do God's work. A man who is truly called may doubt and struggle with his calling at times, but ultimately he will not be able to walk away from it. His doubts may test his desire for ministry, but they will not destroy his desire to minister. It is important to recognize that doubts and feeling of insecurity are not signs that you aren't called. People who are genuinely called often go through seasons of doubt and uncertainty. But over time the sense of calling grows stronger, not weaker.

    This heart confirmation goes beyond a mere passing whim or initial excitement at the prospect of going into ministry. It is what Spurgeon refers to as "an intense, all-absorbing desire for the work." It is what Newton calls "a warm and earnest desire to be employed in this service ... he cannot give it up ... the desire to preach is most fervent." To put it simply, the man who is called to ministry desires to be in ministry so strongly that he cannot hold back: it is fire in his bones, just as in the case of Jeremiah. It is a deep desire to protect and provide for the people of God as Nehemiah did. This heart confirmation is an essential component of the call. However, it is not enough to indicate a genuine call to ministry. A man who is truly called by God also experiences a head confirmation.

     

    Excerpt from Church Planter, by Darrin Patrick

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    Binu: once you are complete, come work for ccgn
    Binu: lol

    Binu: yeah, ministers don't last that long. but many kind of go into it for the glory, and soon realize that there is very little glory in ministry. if you want to survive, you have to be a servant not a ceo
    Binu: i think a lot of those who don't survive want to be ceo's
    Binu: you should be fine. i can tell God's got a calling on you, and you are more servant then ceo.

     

    so encouraging. for me but

     

    sad about ministers who go in it for the glory.  scary.


    tiff: well they could just suck
    tiff: like at their job
    Ray: no
    Ray: God would enable them
    Ray: if they were close to God

     

    truth. scary.

     

    what a dangerous path.  i hope God never makes me cool.  haha  at least i have a job when i graduate!  if binu is still working there.  haha

     


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    i am so. very.

     

    friends are an idol for me for sure.

    the feeling of being loved is an idol for me for sure.

    when i feel unloved, the hurt is so great i would rather chuck the whole friendship into the fire

    and start anew with others

     

    i am good at starting anew

    that's why i feel like i don't need to keep anyone

     

    i can start anew, go straight into deep zone zero core closeness

    and then when heart hurts, go away.

     

    i think i probably cause a lot of hurt this way.

    but it is because the hurt i feel runs so deep

    probably connecting with past experiences that have left weak spots in my heart

     

    bleh.

     

    the emo-ness keeps me close to God.

     

     

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    ocat: you better marry some nerd
    ocat: if he doesnt live in his mothers basement then im going to chase him away

     

    yay brothers!

     


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    my top five strengths according to strength finder 2.0:

    1. ideation

    2. activator

    3. strategic

    4. maximizer

    5. communication

     

    = i dream

    then i make those dreams come true.

     

     

    edit: unless the dreams come from God upon which i become paralyzed with overwhelming burden.  blah. haha

     

     

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    "Stop hanging out with exes!!  You're moving backwards!!!"

    - ccc

     

    HE'S RIGHT! D:!

     

     

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    hear o Lord and answer

    i am poor and needy

    guard my life for i am devoted to You

     

    hear my prayer o Lord

    and my cry for mercy

    in the day of trouble

    i will call to You

     

     

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    if you read my xanga and then talk about me to other people, please stop and get a life.

     

     

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    tonight i went to a charismatic prayer meeting.

    i didn't know what to expect - tongues, screaming, wild things?

    nope, it was pretty uneventful

     

    Except that a woman who I had only met a few moments prior, who knew nothing of me whatsoever, prayed for me (in tongues) in our small assigned group of three and said that she saw that I should be in full-time ministry.  She was hesitant and fearful to say it but decided to blurt it out anyways to see if it made sense to me.  Not only that, she saw me in a graduation gown, celebrating my seminary graduation with everyone.  Everyone was around me and happy.  She said that I should be like Peter, bold and faithful in the healing and things he did in Acts.  She thanked God for the plans He has for me and the work I am to do.  She asked God to help me make the big decisions facing me.  She told me God was leading me step by step, just like when Peter walked on water.  She also saw that I worried about how my decision will affect my relationships with those around me but saw that God was going to change those relationships through this.

    Both she and the other woman felt the great burden I had on me - so much so that both women felt physical pain and stress.  The second woman saw that I had much confusion and felt so much tension in her entire body.  They prayed the verse that had stood out to me - that God's yoke is easy and made just perfect for the oxen.  They both felt much heat coming out of me.

    When they finished praying for me, they asked me if anything they said made sense.  They truly had no idea and were eager to hear what they saw and felt meant.  And I confirmed everything these two strangers said - except the relationships part I didn't quite understand since I don't give too much mind or worry about my parents.  The first woman was relieved that she did not shock me by the ministry and seminary revelation.  I told them how I was considering serving in India long-term.  The same woman lit up and said "Oh! Maybe you are to go.  When I was walking back to sit down (she had stood up to place her hands on my back) I saw Victor."

     

    Nothing they said was new news to me - it was just the same message I have been hearing.  What was new was how easily they heard so specifically and clearly from God.  I never really doubted I was to go into full-time ministry (there have been too many times I heard Him).  I was also pretty sure He wanted me to go to seminary.  I didn't need confirmation of that.  But hearing this word being delivered through two people who had never met me before, didn't even know my job or my relationship with Christ or anything about me was pretty cool.  I was thankful to hear she saw me graduated, because that alone was something I wasn't too confident in.  I was a bit surprised to hear that people were celebrating with me and happy, since my perception of this journey has been pretty solitary.  And the burden.. the burden they kept referring to.  Something I felt years ago the first time I was supposed to go to seminary.. I guess it is still with me.  I have written about it before - it's in my application essay.  I have great fear about what is ahead and what God wants me to do.  Great anxiety, many questions.  It's a "call" I have been ignoring but I can't escape it.  I wish I knew how it felt to just be normal and have only the desire of a simple, ordinary life.  I wish I knew how it felt to just want to marry, build a family, work on my career, settle into a home.  Just be regular.  I try to pretend but don't do well.  Instead I stress out over life-impacting decisions no one else seems to have to face or struggle with.  I am supposed to DO something when I guess it would be nice to just have life happen to me.

     

    Well.  I guess tonight was just another reminder.  same message.  different method of delivery.  but at least this time it was a happy scene.  I should trust God.  Maybe it is spiritual warfare in me.

     

    I am going back to this prayer meeting for sure.  I want to learn how to discern God's voice - more easily I guess than just when He speaks through me or tells me to say something when I'm not intending anything.  I had trouble praying tonight without any baseline whatsoever.  They say it takes practice so I guess I will learn and practice.

     

    may God be glorified.

     

     

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    an atheist's view on religion.  i quite love this.

     

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