Then will I purify the lips of the peoples,

that all of them may call on the name of the Lord

and serve him shoulder to shoulder.

From beyond the rivers of Cush

my worshipers, my scattered people,

will bring me offerings.

...

But I will leave within you

the meek and humble,

who trust in the name of the Lord.

The remnant of Israel will do no wrong;

they will speak no lies,

nor will deceit be found in their mouths.

They will eat and lie down

and no one will make them afraid."

...

The Lord, the King of Israel is with you;

never again will you fear any harm.

On that day they will say to Jerusalem,

"Do not fear, O Zion;

do not let your hands hang limp.

The Lord your God is with you,

he is mighty to save.

He will take great delight in you,

he will quiet you with his love,

he will rejoice over you with singing."

...

I will rescue the lame

and gather those who have been scattered.

I will give them praise and honor

in every land where they were put to shame.

At that time I will gather you;

at that time I will bring you home.

I will give you honor and praise

among all the peoples of the earth

when I restore your fortunes

before your very eyes,"

 

says the Lord

 

- Zephaniah

 

my brothers and sisters are scattered now.  He will gather us together.  we will worship, Holy, Holy, Holy is our God.  He will bring us home.

 

 

"I have been more introspective about my atheism than most Christians have been about their religion."

- Gabriel

 

 

i have such joy when i meet people here who came from countries where there is much poverty and war - and they not only know of but speak highly of the IRC.  "they sometimes gave us rides, because they had a plane and our churches were far away."  :')  

 

my years before school were worthwhile.  i was indeed part of something that helped God's beloved people.  praise God.  He is so good to me.  all these pieces are making sense...

 

 

the Lord knows what i need

and He provides

so always.

i never cease to be so in love with my God

oh reader,

if you knew

how great God's love was for you...

 

i am so sustained by the prayers of my loved ones.  i am sure of it.

why does God love me so much?

i do not know

i deserve nothing

but i am a princess

and i will always bless Your name.

 

speaker at the women's retreat suggested
that while hung on the cross
while the Christ cried out to His Father
who had turned His face away
that when the wind blew..
and the slight aroma of the perfume
that mary had poured on Him prior
... perhaps that sustained Him just a bit

i teared.  God knows our sacrifice.  He died for us.

may You be praised Lord

 

i know my brothers and sisters who are out there serving

keep going.  He loves you.

 

 

God, why are You so amazing?

why do You continue to blow my mind

in everything that You do

in everything that You are

we will conquer the world for You

Your Universal United Church, Your Beautiful Bride

encourage us, Lord

glorify Yourself

continue to move as You move

and we will continue to bless Your Name

to the ends of the earth

 

thank You for loving Me.

 

 

i think life is a mix of the shallow and deep

a mix of the real and fake

 

you have to keep going because life keeps going and time doesn't stop

you cannot dwell in the depths of emo-ness, nothing will wait for you

so should you need to swim up to breathe and keep moving i think it is ok

i think you need not must live in either place

 

most people live near the surface

 

oh my Lord, why am i here?  i am a perplexing creature who does not even see herself.  how much is made up and how much is true?  and perhaps is even the fake true? my friend rejects all that is not real, deep; he despises the shallow, the insincere.  and he rots while i understand.  not all is beauty, not all is pure.  this is the beta version of creation and we humans make the best we can.  fallen world where we must take care of ourselves steeped in sin.  one day all will be true and all will be beautiful.  and the longing we have for something better will be fulfilled.  God be magnified - the only real thing in the universe.

 

i have been pondering "the ontology of God," a topic taught to us in sys theo:

"... from the perspective of a biblical ontology, Spirit is more enduringly and powerfully real than matter, and invisible things are more enduringly and powerfully real than the visible.  That is to say, God is more real than Mount Everest or the floor on which I am standing.  This is not to say that matter is unreal or illusory, but only to point to the fact that matter and the material objects that I can touch, taste, see and measure are not ultimate, eternal or self-defining realities; only the triune God of the Bible is the ultimately real."

"To say that God is heavy is to recognize the intensity and the density of the reality of the divine being, in comparison with which the things of creation are but wisps or vapors or dreams.  Such a notion is reflected in a biblical text such as Psalm 97:5, which states that "the mountains melt like wax before the LORD, before the Lord of all the earth. ... A universe that has endured now for some fourteen billion years will perish when its end is decreed by the eternal, self-existent One who made it."

 

God be glorified.  God is everything.  When life confuses, God is real.

 

i will forever be tiff.  i will always ponder and wonder and love because i am broken.  no one actually knows what they are doing i think, few just admit it or realize it.

 

 

 

Let my study be my worship to You

Let my time here, my interactions here, my work here be worship to You

 

 

I AM ONLY HERE TEMPORARILY

i am only in school temporarily

i am only on this Earth temporarily

 

i must remember

Gordon orientation so far has been ridiculously fun.  i've been meeting a million people - mostly all young, just out of school, many out of bible undergrads

everyone thinks i'm their age - 22-23 - and are super shocked when i tell them the truth.  haha 

also all the koreans think i'm korean

yeeeah Chinese!

also there is barely anyone from new york CITY

i've made it a game - finding friends out of 4 people groups: females, ppl from ny, Chinese (only due to the abundance of korean), and now ppl who have had careers like me and left them to serve God in ministry.

that last group i've met 0, possibly 1 unconfirmed

 

most of the people ive met so far have not had any instance of a particular calling to follow God into ministry.  and some are very young Christians.

i really feel like i'm just in a Christian college, as opposed to a platform for launching workers to build His kingdom

 

i don't feel old at all, especially since i'm so hyped and energetic from all the people interaction.

i have to remember though

i have to slow down

i am only here to be equipped to go out

 

man, seminary world can be a distraction to the bigger mission

 

i don't know if i am allowed to feel happy when the work of God is so serious.  when i am happy i feel distracted from Him - perhaps this is shallow joy?  can i experience both at different times?  

 

how do i enjoy His blessings without forsaking enjoying Him?

 

 

 

God is so amazing. 

just so amazing.

 

The number of blessings in my life are uncountable.

 

and i do not know why i am so blessed

with the people He's given me in my life

 

God is amazing.