February 20, 2012
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i struggle immensely now, more so than ever, with any boasting or encouraging of luxury expenditures. i struggled with people referring to shopping for recreation before. this emotion has intensified greatly now, beyond feeling uncomfortable to loathing and despair. the greater the pleasure and/or comfort (such as expensive tickets to a ball game), the more people support and cheer it on, the more upset i feel.
i see everything i do as a luxury now. and i'm very conscious of my lifestyle - i have not done anything extra so far because of this.
i don't think people understand it. it doesn't mean anything to them when i tell them how much this money is worth - and how much i believe we are responsible for its use when so many of God's people are in need. they hear me but it does not convict them. we have no idea, still. i don't know what to do. Lord, i don't know how to show them. :'(
Lord, i don't know what to do.
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